In such times of uncertainty, your spiritual state of being and what you have placed your faith in will ultimately determine how you will fare and whether you will survive.
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Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
22 But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.
23 For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Ch...
Would it be better to die, or resist? Haven't come close to answering that yet.
It does look like that is what Paul is saying. He recognized he was still needed.
I'm where you are when it come to defense. I'm way more prone to defend someone else than myself.